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The Ultimate Guide to Using Your Human Design Authority to Make Good Decisions about Sex & Romance

Are you tired of making poor decisions when it comes to matters of the heart? Do you want to use your unique Human Design to make better choices about sex and romance? Look no further than your own authority!

human design authority couple sex relationships

Human Design is a system that helps individuals understand their unique energy type, strategy, and authority. Authority is a crucial component of Human Design, as it helps us make decisions that align with our true nature and avoid mistakes that come from forcing things that are not meant for us.

Sex & Romance can be a complicated situation, and it's easy to force things because we want to make it work. This can lead to:

  • Making decisions based on external pressures or expectations which can lead to disappointment and frustration in relationships.

  • Ignoring your own inner guidance can result in pursuing relationships or sexual experiences that are not aligned with your true nature, leading to feelings of discomfort, shame or dissatisfaction.

  • Going against your authority can result in a lack of authenticity and self-respect, leading to a negative impact on your self-esteem and confidence.

  • Not listening to your authority can result in repeating patterns of behaviour that are not healthy or fulfilling, leading to a cycle of unsatisfactory relationships or sexual experiences.

The good news is that your human design authority can immediately give you the understanding of how to go about making these big choices. Here is a breakdown of each of the seven types of authority in Human Design and how they can help you make better decisions about sex and romance. To get your own personal reading, you can check out my human design chart reading options.

  1. Emotional Authority (53% of population): If you have emotional authority, you should give yourself time to process and wait for your emotional highs and lows to pass before making any major decisions about sex and romance. You may find that your feelings about a situation or person change over time, so it's important to give yourself space and time to process your emotions before making a final decision. For example: it might feel tempting to jump straight in after a really good first date, but slow down and give yourself time to process.

  2. Sacral Authority (33% of population): If you have sacral authority, you should tune into your gut response when making decisions about sex or romance. If you feel a strong "yes" or "no" in response to a person or situation, you should trust that feeling and act accordingly. Does this person light you up, or do they feel a bit 'meh' or even icky? The key here is to give yourself permission to trust your bodies signals, because your mind may try to talk you around.

  3. Splenic Authority (9% of population): If you have splenic authority, you should trust your instincts when it comes to sex and romance. You may have an instinctual sense of whether a person or situation is compatible, incompatible or even risky, and you should listen to your body's signals when making decisions. For example: I have splenic authority, and despite seeing how handsome a guy was, on our first date my splenic authority very quickly told me it was a 'no'. As much as I 'wanted' it to work, I knew that I wasn't attracted to him where it truly mattered. It could be very easy to disregard my body's signals and try to force the relationship against my highest good (and his), but I followed my authority in this case.

  4. Self-Projected Authority (2.5% of population): If you are a projector with self-projected authority, you should consider your own wants and needs when it comes to sex and romance. Talking it out with good friends that won't try and sway your decision, but provide a trusted sounding board for you, will help you to hear your own words. Listen out for the way that you talk about someone. Does your voice raise in pitch and get excited? Does it sound irritated or deflated? The way you talk about them says more than the actual words you use.

  5. Ego Authority (1% of population): If you have ego authority, you should make decisions about sex and romance based on what feels right for you personally, and never what others expect of you. You may need to take time to connect with your own sense of power and genuine desire before making a move. You have full permission to be healthily selfish about this choice and make sure you feel you have the will and energy to pursue this relationship. For example: when you connect romantically or sexually to this person do you feel MORE like yourself or do you become someone different? If you become someone different, is this enhancing an aspect of you that you want to explore, or does it feel against your spirit/ essence? You are designed to follow what makes you feel like your true self.

  6. Lunar Authority (1% of population): As a reflector with lunar authority you should give yourself adequate time to process how you feel about this person (it doesn't have to be a lunar cycle, but you shouldn't rush your decision). You may find that certain times are better for connecting with others or pursuing sexual experiences, while other times are better for introspection and self-reflection. When you connect with someone over time, and in different contexts, you will develop clarity. For example: you're getting to know someone new. Rather than always meeting at the same place you change it up each time. It's healthy to meet in new environments, with friends and without, on weekends and after work on weeknights. When you're alone, and you've had time to experience the relationship in multiple ways, you will have access to your clarity.

  7. Mental/ Environmental Authority/ None (0.5% of population): If you have mental authority (aka environmental authority or 'none') you should take the time to talk about your relationship with people you trust, and be in different environments. You are a process-based decision maker. It will be very tempting to rely on your powerful mind to make decisions, but rushing into a decision from a sense of mental pressure to make up your mind, is not healthy. Take the advice of Self-Projected and Lunar Authority as they both apply to your decision making process. For example: you feel pressure to make a call on if you'll stay with someone you've been getting to know for a month or so now but you don't have clarity. It is healthy to talk it out with a few good friends (that won't try to sway your opinion) and go on some more dates in different places and environments. There is no rush to make a call until you feel you have given yourself the time to process. When clarity comes, act.

Was this helpful? Let me know how your authority has shown up for you in the comments below. If there's something you want to know about human design email me at



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